Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
