Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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