i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
