you win again, gameday.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
