Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
