spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
