Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
