i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
