quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
