Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
