you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
