Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
