if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
