She's like a pop up book from hell.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
