how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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