I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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