Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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