why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
