I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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