How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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