Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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