my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
