I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
