it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
