Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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