you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
