office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
