oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
