I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
the day after is always just damage control
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
