is your mom at the bar?
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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