oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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