on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
