her vagina looked like bernie madoff
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
