There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
