I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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