It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
