Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
