at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
