Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
