i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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