I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
