Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We're too hungover to prance.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
