where am i from again
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
