Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
where am i from again
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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