So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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