So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Welp...herpes.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
