I think im going to throw up on grandma
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Randomize
