Just cropdusted the office
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
