their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
