You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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